Lord, I'm having a hard time making sense of this life you've given me.
How do I sort out what's current and what's old? And how do I let go of what's simply old? My fear of the "end times" is very similar to my fear of labor--a large, looming pain that nothing can prepare me for. I know the outcome in both cases is beautiful, but I have a hard time focusing on this. Do I have enough info to be ready? Should I be reading more? Just as with my relationship with You, I tend to put off study and practice of labor. It's a fear avoidance tactic: what you don't know can't hurt you or you can't be accountable for something you don't understand. But this is glaringly counterproductive because with both I must go through with them, prepared or not. So why not be prepared? Is not opening myself to failure a sufficient substitute to a well-informed, thus possibly more peaceful, experience? With both events, we have spent so much precious time building towers of fear and dread while we could have been focusing on the beauty of the outcome, a baby and a Savior. Both pains have a purpose; they are not in vain. So how do I embrace this new perspective, God?